Break Free. Embrace Rest. Be Whole

I had this vision to help moms and physicians by helping them to live free, unhurried, meaningful, value-based lives. I planned a party on my birthday 8.17.2023. I invited several close moms and professionals I knew for a time of networking and fun. I prayed about it before the event and was led to a foundational scripture in Luke 10:41-42.  I put my name in it “Nicole, Nicole you are worried and anxious about so many things, but there is only one thing worth being concerned about....” 

 I admit a year after Wholemind WholeMom and Wholemind WholePhysician has launched, I am in a place of continued growth and desire to see the vision come to fruition as I reflect on the work needed for myself. I have been reading about slowing down and resting, yet I have not.  I have involved myself in so many things, not being able to shut my mind down after work, overeating, irritable, angry and finding jealousy creeping in of other women who seem to balance things so well. I think why I have been less productive with Wholemind is that I have been living outside of an identity of one who has been made whole and laying on a mat of fear, insecurity (imposter syndrome) and ungratefulness. Jesus asked a man in a similar position in John 5:1-8 who was stuck for 38 years "do you want to be made whole," as this man had been sitting by a pool complaining that others are getting their chance at peace, joy, wholeness before him. Christ says to him " Stand up, pick up your mat and walk!” immediately he did this and was whole!

Though Luke 10:41-42 is a foundational scripture for Wholemind. I find that I needed more specific steps to focus on fulfilling the purpose of the ministry aspect of my business. I have found that John 5 has some key tools for me for wholeness and hope others can gain some insights as well. Hence, the ministry aspect of Wholemind is " Break Free. Embrace Rest. Be Whole."

1. Break Free: "Stand up" The man at the pool had to agree that where he was, was no longer a place he could stay. I have to make a declaration that where I am (insecurity, feeling trapped) is not where He has designed me to be. I have to break free from a mindset of bondage. There are strongholds of insecurity, doubt, fears, guilt and pride that has held me back from experiencing freedom as I seemingly watch others grab it. Breaking free involves recognizing these strongholds, surrendering them i.e. recognize I am powerless to fight them and picking up weapons that actually have power: strategic prayer, Truth in His word and Sabbath (embracing rest, more on this below).
   Favorite scriptures on Breaking Free: 2 Corinthians 3:17; Galatians 5:1; John 8:31-32

2. Embrace Rest: "Pick up your mat" The man at the pool laid on his mat in false rest for far too long. False rest (massages, spa days, vacations, naps which I fully enjoy) help for a time and are important, but they run dry and do not fulfill long term. Picking up your mat involves embracing true rest that comes from being secure in your identity as a child of God. This involves living life from an approved, secure mindset to fight off the tendency to be overworked in areas that are not a part of  purpose and/or feeling as though one has to prove oneself to others.  For me this involves strategic times of putting down my phone when possible. I also changed my screensaver to focus on verses of freedom and rest. I am beginning to work on having focused attention on the most important task of each moment and knowing that it is more than enough to only work on this one thing as it is the task He has given me. I am also accepting that I am powerless to control the many other things that could be going on at the same time. I am choosing to live intentionally, and I have to give that sense of powerlessness and lack of control over to him.... moment by moment.  This applies heavily for me in the clinical world, and I’m learning to practice not rushing.  It's so hard! I am telling myself its ok to be a little late as apologies go a long way when you are deciding to start a visit on time or take a quick restroom break. I'm also trying to be conscious about making patients not feel rushed. This is also a struggle as the limitation in healthcare tap into my sense of wanting to fix every problem I hear but failing miserably. I am recognizing my powerlessness here as it may be beyond the scope of either my expertise, time and ultimately responsibility. I am learning how to step back and hear problems and recommend resources that are available and also acceptance of supporting and bearing burdens with my patients that may not be changed quickly. 
   Favorite Scriptures on Embracing Rest: Matthew 11:28-30; Isaiah 30:15; Mark 4:37-38

3. Be Whole: "Walk" involves recalling I am whole only when I walk with Him with His leading and His spirit. I am learning to measure myself only to His wholeness and not what others or society is claiming will make me happy, productive or esteemed.  I also show compassion to my human experience that has led to brokenness and the brokenness in others.  My wholeness comes when I look to him and know that as long as I walk in tune with Him, I borrow his wisdom, his peace, his knowledge and through Him I am whole.
   Favorite Scriptures on wholeness: Isaiah 53:5; John 5: 6-8

WholemindMom-MD for me is learning to not let identity of a "physician" define me by humbling myself to prioritize God and family above prestige.  Hence, MD is last but has always been first for me, and learning to put my identity as a doctor below my identity as a Christian, wife, daughter, friend is a challenge every day for me but it goes back to that one thing in Luke 10:41-42. It is an everyday journey I reach, I search, I desperately want it and as I break free and embrace rest I look to Him for wholeness and invite others to join me!

Personal Reflection:
Think about your favorite scriptures for embracing rest.... How do you currently find rest in your life and what steps could you take to embrace more meaningful rest on your journey towards wholeness?